Belle E. Buttons - Great Toys for Great Kids

The Bridge Community Church podcast

    Thursday, May 18, 2006


    Dogs for Dummies

    Isn't he sweet?Considering a dog for your household? Here is everything you need to know.

    • Dogs wrestle playfully with children, and the children love it.
    • Dogs will fetch anytime, day or night.
    • Walking the dog is a great excuse to take a break.

    • Dogs bark.
    • Dogs drink out of the toilet, but splash in the water bowl.
    • If you'd rather not go out, too bad: Dogs cannot walk themselves.
    • Dogs poop twice a day -- more if you take them to the park. You have to clean it up.
    • Dogs roll in other dogs' poop if they find it in the yard or at the park.
    • Dogs can learn to hold it for ten hours a day, every weekday, and do this for a whole school year. When you decide to become a stay-at-home Mom, dogs poop and pee everywhere in the house even though you walk them twice more daily than before.
    • Dogs eat their own poop. They leave just enough so you know they did.
    • Dogs eat other dogs' poop.
    • Dogs eat the cat's poop from the litter box.**
    • Dogs like to watch you poop. If you couldn't flush, they would eat it.
    • Dogs vomit. Later, they come back and eat it.
    • Dogs poop all over the house. Oh, I already mentioned that.
    • Dogs prefer pooping on carpeted areas, especially light-colored carpet.
    • Dogs drag garbage out of the kitchen wastecan and eat it. They prefer moldy vegetables, decaying meat, old candy, egg shells, and dirty diapers. Anything, really.
    • Dogs slurp decaying mammals at the park, and then roll in their remains.

      Any questions?

      (*Does not apply to dogs who are actually human, like Kiddie.)
      (**Would be a PRO if it didn't cause gas, diarrhea and hell-itosis.)


    Blogger Lindy said...

    Yeah. I really do hate dogs.

    5/20/2006 11:19 AM  
    Anonymous KIDDIE said...



    5/23/2006 9:49 PM  
    Blogger jwh said...

    I can feel the love!!!! I bet if he could, Dooley would poop all over your blog! As much as I like Daisy, I would still rather not have an least not in the house. Animals are great OUTSIDE!!!!!!!

    5/24/2006 12:30 PM  
    Anonymous lonnie said...

    i like the favicon, by the way. it finally started showing up.

    i see you took out the orange.

    5/26/2006 11:20 PM  
    Blogger crossn81 said...

    my name is Tim...

    i've forgotten my blog!!!

    good work on getting your work done!

    6/17/2006 11:18 PM  
    Blogger crossn81 said...

    i miss tim...

    8/20/2006 9:00 PM  
    Blogger Mark said...

    You forgot that they love to sniff your crotch, eat your underwear, eat your video camera cables, sh*t in places you can't find for a while, come INSIDE to pee, shred any and all paper products, violate your plants, get aroused when you spank them (maybe mine's just into S&M), and cough in your face. Wet, hacking coughs.

    They sure are cute, tho'

    5/31/2007 10:18 PM  

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