Favorite Smells of Spring

An Appropriate Welcome for Future U.S. President Hu

Audio of President Jintao's speech translated: "We Will Bury You." (3.5 MB)

Tax Cuts for the Rich, Indeed!

I did my own taxes this year, by hand, and am getting $14 back from the feds.

Champion Fisherman

Ezra, after losing his second lure to a cunning fish: "I'm a champion fisherman! Will they hang my picture up like Bob's?"

Tim: "You actually have to catch something before anyone will consider you a champion."

Ezra, incredulous: "There's no way I could catch that fish...It was a whale!"

My Inbox

Perfect Name: Tim Allen's Home Improvements

Tim Allen's Home Improvements in Alexandria (Ironically, the Yellow Pages has his phone number wrong; it should be 724-9330).

A suspect database is not the end of the world

I arrived at work Monday and learned that Saturday night's server crash destroyed my test environment's central objects database. Yes, the one that is supposed to go live in two weeks.

Everyone I know who works with Microsoft SQL Server said this has never happened to them. How reassuring! Every online forum implied these are very extreme circumstances and it's best to call Microsoft and have them help me over the phone. The last time I called was in ... what? ... 1993?

After experimenting with various solutions all afternoon, I found my situation rather simple: The MSSQL Service detected corruption, flagged the database as Suspect, and disabled access so hundreds of users don't log in and try to use it. Before I could view, modify, or otherwise access the objects, I had to reset the status from suspect to emergency mode.

You will not find emergency mode in the help index, and searching help has scant results. But once I had the right steps, it was fairly easy to reset the status, scan for errors, and rescue everything essential. Here are the two most useful articles:

Tibor Karaszi's Recommended Actions for Corrupt or Suspect Databases

A forum post that actually worked for me: http://www.sql.ru/faq/faq_topic.aspx?fid=123


Later, for fun, I called 1-800-MICROSOFT and found that I would have paid a $250 incident fee (credit card only) to resolve the problem. After-business-hours support costs extra.

That's not a bad value under the circumstances, but here's my advice to any budding SQL Server admins: Build a test server and a test database with lots of objects and data; start a lengthy write operation, wait a minute or so, and then unplug the machine. Now you have your very own suspect database to play with! If you fix it, you saved $250 and got a free education.

370 Atlas® Glove: Thin but Strong

These are definitely my favorite gloves ever.

They're snug. They're thin. They're soft. They have a logic-defying grip, even when wet. The back is a nylon mesh, letting your busy hands breathe under the hot Indiana sun. And I find them quite fashionable.

"From manufacturing and industrial work to gardening, snug fit protection that allows you to feel the smallest level of detail. The 370 Atlas® Glove features a tough nitrile palm coat over a seamless knit nylon liner. Provides excellent puncture and abrasion resistance without compromising grip or dexterity. Great for gardening or choking enemy ninjas! Machine washable."

Ask for them by name at Northgate True Value -- only five ducks!

Love and Affection

Tim. "Do you need a back rub?"

Sandra. "I need to go to the bathroom."

Beautiful Blues

Hello, friends. I'm writing today overflowing with joy about recycling...because I love to recycle. I really do. Sandra loves it that I love to recycle. She smiles every time I come home from the office with another bag full of catalogs and old computer manuals to add to the stack on our back porch. She smiles demurely, caresses my shoulder, and whispers how excited she is to watch me save the planet.

I really really love to recycle. It is my favorite hobby. More favorite, even, than blogging.


There are many of you out there who don't love to recycle. I understand this. You don't have to explain. I'm writing because I think you and I can help each other. You see, I love recycling so much that I frequently run out of those charming blue bags that the City allots us each quarter. I was thinking the other day that perhaps you would be willing to give me your unused blue bag coupons! Perhaps even now there are coupons in your filing cabinet, still attached to your utility bill stubs, crying out silently to have a purpose in this world.

Won't you help these starving bags get full of the trash I collect up and down my street?

Please write today if you can do this. I'll send a reminder email once a quarter. I'll even come to your house to get them, to save you the time and energy remembering your special commitment.


Thank you in advance.

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Addendum: 2006 Recycling Schedule

Unfortunate Name: John and Mary Smith

Yes, they're real. Met them tonight. Well, I met John and one of his kids.

It's Gonna Be a Good Year